religion (1)

Welcome to Women's True Liberation

Greetings everyone,

I want to share some of my life with you in hopes we will get to know each other better.

I was born to a middle class family. My mom was religious and took us three children from our dad so she could be closer to her dad and in doing so sent our whole family down an unhappy path. By my Dad not exercising his manly authority over her demands and allowing her to lead the marriage, today I believe this caused her to became diagnosed as mentally ill (schizophrenic and manic depressed), I believe this was due to her disobedience against my Dad's wishes and her selfish choices for our family. She played the blame game and it was always someone else's fault, never hers, placing blame on us and abusing us  both physically and mentally. She believed her religion and said we were "devil" possessed as she listened to the bad voices in her head. My dad coped with this insane nightmare by drinking  alcohol and working all the time. We spent very little time with him because mother was even jealous of us having a good relationship with him. Today I believe everything happens for a reason, for the greater good of each of us, which includes this upbringing of mine.

You can only  imagine how unhappy I was always felling like the odd one out, mothers favorite child was my older sister and dad's favorite was the younger, I desperately wanted to escape my home life, so acting out of desperation, lust took over and I became pregnant and married to a selfish man who would not provide for nor protect me or his son. Unbeknown-st to me, I drove him into the arms of other women with my possessive jealousy which I thought was love. I had attracted a man who was a theft, drug user, drug dealing, addicted to sex, and verbally and physically abusive to me and his son, which hurt all of us deeply. Desperate for help, I was baptized into the church and became religious, seeking God and the answers to why the marriage was failing. With the religious teachings in hand I decided my husband was the problem, so I divorced him.

 Still looking for love, in all the wrong places with all the wrong character defects, I attracted another man and decided to marry again. I remained in an unhappy marriage for 29 years. The way I coped was by drinking and becoming a workaholic, pursuing a successful career in the beauty industry,. All along learning "how to wear the pants in the relationship". Over the next 23 years I listened to hundreds of women whose marriages had ended in divorce for some of the same reasons mine had which was clearly destroying the family unit. They divorced their husbands and would almost always take the children, only to remarry again and end up in once again in an unhappy situation just as I did.  During this time I  become what society had taught me to be, a woman's lib fan (a man hater who acts like a man). By not obeying the authority and leadership from my husband I became independent and was deceived into thinking I had it all together; or so it seemed, since I ran a successful business, went to church all the time, attended Al-anon, and could easily take care of myself; or so I thought. Truth was I had created an even more unhappy relationship because he was drinking more than ever and so was I finally saw no hope and ended that marriage in divorce also.

Less than a year later I became engaged only to find out once more I had attracted the same type of man. He was addicted to sex and porn, so we went to counseling at church with little to no results only for me to call off the engagement. Today I am so glad I did. So after two painful divorces and a failed engagement, I came to the realization I could not attract a man who could love me the way I dreamed of. I desired a man that would fulfill my greatest desire to have a loving relationship with Christ being his head and him being in loving authority over me. By this time I was emotionally spent and not interested in another relationship. At this point in my life I realized that I could no longer point the finger at others, but that I was the problem and the masculine manners I had grew up with and continued to learn over the years were emasculating men's authority and it wasn't working out so well for me, but rather working in the opposite direction of what it had appeared it would be, detouring my spiritual growth. Determine to find a solution, I turned to my Creator earnestly in prayer and laid the Whole problem before Him; me, myself, and I.

Shortly after this I went to work part time for a women named Debra, who kept insisting I meet her contractor. She would show me pictures of him and she told me things about him like he would not work on Saturday and if he did anything on that day he did not charge for it. This rang a bell with me and sparked just enough interest to allow her to give him my phone number. He did not call right away as she said he always did and she became worried. I would ask her "please don't worry, if he doesn't call back it is not meant to be". 

God doesn't waste any time when He knows you are ready.The first call came and I kindly informed him I did not wish to waste his time nor mine on a relationship that would not work so first things first. I kindly ask him about his relationship with Christ. Complete silence fell on the other end of the phone, I thought I had lost him, and then he gave a logical clear answer, with out going into details, that Christ was the most important relationship in his life. That sounded good to me and now I was looking for proof which did not take long as he lead the dance with healthy boundaries. I had him over for a home cooked meal one evening. After we finished eating he came to my side and knelt down, then he asked me kindly if he could kiss me, which I said "yes" and he did, and my heart was overjoyed. We then sat on the couch talking and when things began to heat up he stopped kissing me and announced his wishes were to lead the dance and not have sex together before our marriage vows were said in public meaning we would invite Father/God in first then consummate our marriage together on the honeymoon.This seemed like such a romantic dance step to me, he was winning my heart, that a man could have this much self control in his leading turns over the lustful head most men of today think with instead. He also announced kindly he would lead the dance and I was to follow. At the time all I could do was hope this good example continued. He demonstrated even more control when on several occasions he spent the night with me. He took care of me when I was in need which lead up to him dancing in and saying "Please, I just want to take care of you" this melted my heart and helped me decide to cease my vane career, sell my business and allow him to dance further into my life. For the last five years I have been in his divine dance training, learning how to be a good help meet dancer, lady, mom, and friend. I love dancing with my husband, helping him with our business, cleaning, household chores, growing our garden together, tending to our lovely animals, (dancing in the kitchen), cooking all his meals unless he takes me on a dance date and we go out together for a two step meal and a movie. I find him to be a good lead dancer and he exercises his authority with firm steps of love as we take a vacation 3 or 4 times a year to just enjoy or time together with Father in nature. As we allow God to change our behaviors our love for each other grows. Sometimes we have growing pains but manage to slowly dance straight way through them and knowing he has no desire to cheat helps me dance straight. Today I feel like I dance on cloud 9 most of the time following him to the tune of our heavenly Father. Along the way I have found genuine lessons like this extraordinary book entitled "How To Attract A Real Man" This book has given me new steps to practice as my heart beats with joy for this God given wealth of wisdom.

In conclusion: The Dance

Ladies it's a moon lit night, just right for dancing, magically attract your partner as you read from this inspiring book, giving him a practical look, while he leads you in these classical steps. Don't swing to the right or swing to the left, go straight way ahead as you tell yourself, hear the bells ring as he ask you to dwell with a ring and be his to make Joy... Oh boy under the blue moon he will lead The Way as your Creator has instructed and not a day to soon. As you follow him turning you around and around, carefully step in as planned and find The Way now... It feels right, wow, no more arguing only perfect harmony, he has the instructional ability, so learn, so listen to him carefully not to miss a single commanding kiss, just as men have prayerfully  wanted ladies to seek their leadership. Come on ladies let's learn, let's "dance the night away," as you two find the magic words to say to each other and go not astray. Feel your hearts desire as you come in tune without delay, heavens music is playing your favorite love song under the moon all night long. As he offers to lighten your load it will send you further in the mode, seek and you shall find your Mr. Right, on this very night.  Will you prayerfully listen to your spiritually feminine song as you two dance hand in hand  to "Will The Real Men Please Stand Up!" It's not by chance, and you still can, fall in love with your real man, ladies you don't want to miss this Dance...

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About "Self" by guest writer Trish

I grew up in a middle class family, and always felt like the"odd one out". There was no love in my family, except for when I was very young and my dad would come in to say goodnight and sing me a song while rubbing my forehead so I could sleep well. That didn’t last that long as my mother and dad seemed to hate each other, which oozed out and infected the rest of the family. I had always wished I was in a different family, a loving family, where I could love and be loved. My dad was isolating himself more and more from my abusing and manipulative mother, who constantly berated him, whether he was at home or not. She took over the role of who wears the pants in the family, and she would manipulate the other children against my dad, with lies or bribes, or withholding her affection, whatever that was. In turn my dad started to sink deeper and deeper into depression, and his so-called doctors were prescribing him uppers and downers, one to compensate for the other. He was diagnosed with manic depression, and after a couple of hospitalizations he was taken out of state for electric shock therapy. There was such constant emotional abuse and physical abuse, it's hard to count how many times the police were called. I realize now that my dad was just as manipulative and abusive, as he too takes no responsibility for anything. My role became to defend my dad, as my mother and the other children would take advantage of him. I felt bad for my dad and I knew he was sick and I wanted to see him get better. Needless to say this wasn't a healthy environment. My coping mechanism became an eating disorder. I would restrict my food, to keep weight off and then a school friend of mine showed me how to be a bulimic, where I could eat and then just throw up my food, which became a life long battle of mine, nearly half my life, with a few near death experiences, and hospitalizations. I was constantly "getting off at the wrong bus stop". My mother despised me and she treated me as a piece of throw away garbage, she blamed me for all the unhappiness in her life, and at one point she had wanted all the children to sign "legal" papers that my dad was incompetent, so she could take his property. Everyone else was on board, but I refused, as I saw right through her. Her way of getting me back was to take everything I own and throw it away, or keep it for herself. To escape the house I would stay after school and play sports, and developed friendships as well as drinking partners. So I was limited to the time I spent at home. When it came time for applying for college I was so bulimic, and knew there was no way I was ready to go to College, but this didn't seem to reflect the feelings of my parents which were: don't think you’re gonna stay home and do nothing. While I just wanted a job and to get well, but I was forced to take a loan and go. I was so sick that I was hospitalized. I was on an athletic scholarship and so I stuck it out for the year. I was going through life picking up a job here or there on my own; it didn't matter what it was: waitress, bagging dirt, coaching, but I always had to let go for fear of someone finding out about my disease, and the older I got the harder it was to hide this secretive affliction. A few years later I was playing in a league and met the coach to another college, and she offered me a scholarship to play, I thought yes it’s time and so I went. This is where my first real serious relationship started, and as I look back and reflect on that relationship now, the things he had done to hurt me, like sleeping with my aunt and my sister in law were most likely a reflection of how I drove him away, through my own insecurities. This relationship started by me chasing him as well, when the man should be chasing the woman. I was still heavy into my eating disorder at this time, so how could I be committed to a man, when I was really committed to my disease? When I graduated college, I moved back home for lack of funds, but this probably wasn't my wisest choice. The resentment of my mom weighed heavily on me. The last straw was when she threw me out of the house and I went to a friends and never left. I had nowhere else to go and he never turned me away. I was also chasing him as well, prior to this. He took care of me and loved me with all my quirks and illness et all, he has been trying to teach me patience since. About 17 years ago he was diagnosed with a very serious cancer, where you are not supposed to survive, but he did and developed 2 secondary cancers from treatments he received. I’ve been taking care of him ever since. I realize now that all the problems I suffer are lessons and karma. If I look in the mirror I can see that I have been a hypocrite, when in relationships, not being totally honest about what is going on with me, but I just wanted somebody to love me and to love somebody - a comforter. I just have seen that to obtain these things I need not look any further than myself. Starting with letting go and following The Way, that is the only thing that can heal and cure all. I have to work on becoming a real woman, a help-meet for a man, a woman that would make God proud, that I probably never would have been able to reach and strive for, if it weren't for The Lord himself, who allowed me to find JAH and His people who are His helpers and followers of The Way. I have struggled the last couple of days as to how I react, but I now think about it and realize what it is that I am doing wrong. Thank you Lynn for your book AH MEN, and thank you Naomi for all your help and guidance and your site. peace be with you and within you, Trish