I want to share some of my life with you in hopes we will get to know each other better.
I was born to a middle class family. My mom was religious and took us three children from our dad so she could be closer to her dad and in doing so sent our whole family down an unhappy path. By my Dad not exercising his manly authority over her demands and allowing her to lead the marriage, today I believe this caused her to became diagnosed as mentally ill (schizophrenic and manic depressed), I believe this was due to her disobedience against my Dad's wishes and her selfish choices for our family. She played the blame game and it was always someone else's fault, never hers, placing blame on us and abusing us both physically and mentally. She believed her religion and said we were "devil" possessed as she listened to the bad voices in her head. My dad coped with this insane nightmare by drinking alcohol and working all the time. We spent very little time with him because mother was even jealous of us having a good relationship with him. Today I believe everything happens for a reason, for the greater good of each of us, which includes this upbringing of mine.
You can only imagine how unhappy I was always felling like the odd one out, mothers favorite child was my older sister and dad's favorite was the younger, I desperately wanted to escape my home life, so acting out of desperation, lust took over and I became pregnant and married to a selfish man who would not provide for nor protect me or his son. Unbeknown-st to me, I drove him into the arms of other women with my possessive jealousy which I thought was love. I had attracted a man who was a theft, drug user, drug dealing, addicted to sex, and verbally and physically abusive to me and his son, which hurt all of us deeply. Desperate for help, I was baptized into the church and became religious, seeking God and the answers to why the marriage was failing. With the religious teachings in hand I decided my husband was the problem, so I divorced him.
Still looking for love, in all the wrong places with all the wrong character defects, I attracted another man and decided to marry again. I remained in an unhappy marriage for 29 years. The way I coped was by drinking and becoming a workaholic, pursuing a successful career in the beauty industry,. All along learning "how to wear the pants in the relationship". Over the next 23 years I listened to hundreds of women whose marriages had ended in divorce for some of the same reasons mine had which was clearly destroying the family unit. They divorced their husbands and would almost always take the children, only to remarry again and end up in once again in an unhappy situation just as I did. During this time I become what society had taught me to be, a woman's lib fan (a man hater who acts like a man). By not obeying the authority and leadership from my husband I became independent and was deceived into thinking I had it all together; or so it seemed, since I ran a successful business, went to church all the time, attended Al-anon, and could easily take care of myself; or so I thought. Truth was I had created an even more unhappy relationship because he was drinking more than ever and so was I finally saw no hope and ended that marriage in divorce also.
Less than a year later I became engaged only to find out once more I had attracted the same type of man. He was addicted to sex and porn, so we went to counseling at church with little to no results only for me to call off the engagement. Today I am so glad I did. So after two painful divorces and a failed engagement, I came to the realization I could not attract a man who could love me the way I dreamed of. I desired a man that would fulfill my greatest desire to have a loving relationship with Christ being his head and him being in loving authority over me. By this time I was emotionally spent and not interested in another relationship. At this point in my life I realized that I could no longer point the finger at others, but that I was the problem and the masculine manners I had grew up with and continued to learn over the years were emasculating men's authority and it wasn't working out so well for me, but rather working in the opposite direction of what it had appeared it would be, detouring my spiritual growth. Determine to find a solution, I turned to my Creator earnestly in prayer and laid the Whole problem before Him; me, myself, and I.
Shortly after this I went to work part time for a women named Debra, who kept insisting I meet her contractor. She would show me pictures of him and she told me things about him like he would not work on Saturday and if he did anything on that day he did not charge for it. This rang a bell with me and sparked just enough interest to allow her to give him my phone number. He did not call right away as she said he always did and she became worried. I would ask her "please don't worry, if he doesn't call back it is not meant to be".
God doesn't waste any time when He knows you are ready.The first call came and I kindly informed him I did not wish to waste his time nor mine on a relationship that would not work so first things first. I kindly ask him about his relationship with Christ. Complete silence fell on the other end of the phone, I thought I had lost him, and then he gave a logical clear answer, with out going into details, that Christ was the most important relationship in his life. That sounded good to me and now I was looking for proof which did not take long as he lead the dance with healthy boundaries. I had him over for a home cooked meal one evening. After we finished eating he came to my side and knelt down, then he asked me kindly if he could kiss me, which I said "yes" and he did, and my heart was overjoyed. We then sat on the couch talking and when things began to heat up he stopped kissing me and announced his wishes were to lead the dance and not have sex together before our marriage vows were said in public meaning we would invite Father/God in first then consummate our marriage together on the honeymoon.This seemed like such a romantic dance step to me, he was winning my heart, that a man could have this much self control in his leading turns over the lustful head most men of today think with instead. He also announced kindly he would lead the dance and I was to follow. At the time all I could do was hope this good example continued. He demonstrated even more control when on several occasions he spent the night with me. He took care of me when I was in need which lead up to him dancing in and saying "Please, I just want to take care of you" this melted my heart and helped me decide to cease my vane career, sell my business and allow him to dance further into my life. For the last five years I have been in his divine dance training, learning how to be a good help meet dancer, lady, mom, and friend. I love dancing with my husband, helping him with our business, cleaning, household chores, growing our garden together, tending to our lovely animals, (dancing in the kitchen), cooking all his meals unless he takes me on a dance date and we go out together for a two step meal and a movie. I find him to be a good lead dancer and he exercises his authority with firm steps of love as we take a vacation 3 or 4 times a year to just enjoy or time together with Father in nature. As we allow God to change our behaviors our love for each other grows. Sometimes we have growing pains but manage to slowly dance straight way through them and knowing he has no desire to cheat helps me dance straight. Today I feel like I dance on cloud 9 most of the time following him to the tune of our heavenly Father. Along the way I have found genuine lessons like this extraordinary book entitled "How To Attract A Real Man" This book has given me new steps to practice as my heart beats with joy for this God given wealth of wisdom.
In conclusion: The Dance
Ladies it's a moon lit night, just right for dancing, magically attract your partner as you read from this inspiring book, giving him a practical look, while he leads you in these classical steps. Don't swing to the right or swing to the left, go straight way ahead as you tell yourself, hear the bells ring as he ask you to dwell with a ring and be his to make Joy... Oh boy under the blue moon he will lead The Way as your Creator has instructed and not a day to soon. As you follow him turning you around and around, carefully step in as planned and find The Way now... It feels right, wow, no more arguing only perfect harmony, he has the instructional ability, so learn, so listen to him carefully not to miss a single commanding kiss, just as men have prayerfully wanted ladies to seek their leadership. Come on ladies let's learn, let's "dance the night away," as you two find the magic words to say to each other and go not astray. Feel your hearts desire as you come in tune without delay, heavens music is playing your favorite love song under the moon all night long. As he offers to lighten your load it will send you further in the mode, seek and you shall find your Mr. Right, on this very night. Will you prayerfully listen to your spiritually feminine song as you two dance hand in hand to "Will The Real Men Please Stand Up!" It's not by chance, and you still can, fall in love with your real man, ladies you don't want to miss this Dance...
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